英國人與茶
類別: 說文解字 [第 2 篇]
英國人愛喝茶（tea）是世界聞名的。然而茶的故鄉並不在英國，而在中國，中國是種茶、製茶和飲茶最早的國家，英國最早的茶原是300年前從中國運過去的。據說，英語中tea的發音原是中國南方某地方言對茶（cha）的叫法〔ti︰〕。早在17世紀以前，英國人還不知道茶為何物。據說茶是由英王查理二世（1630－1685年）的王後凱瑟琳帶到英國的。凱瑟琳出身於葡萄牙的布拉岡沙家庭。她出嫁時從東印度公司購買了中國紅茶100公斤，把它帶到英國王宮，她把喝茶當作一種宮庭樂趣。不久，英國朝廷大臣、貴族、社會名流紛紛效仿，天長日久，喝茶的風氣逐漸遍及全英國。到今天，飲茶不僅是英國人所喜愛的消遣方式，而且是一項重要的生意，英國擁有許多茶葉公司。茶是英國最流行的飲料，將近一半的人口喜歡飲茶。人們普遍認為茶能醫治百病，有的人竟到了飯可以不吃，茶不可不喝的地步。一位英國劇作家曾經說過︰"While there is tea，there is hope."（有茶就有希望）。喝茶在英國已成為一種習慣，一種風俗，英國人已離不開茶。茶的重要性也表現在英國人的語言--英語中，並逐漸融入到英國文化中，甚至成為文學藝術創作的主題。英國著名兒童作家Lewis Carrol 在他的經典作品Alice in Wonderland（《艾麗絲夢遊仙境》）中寫到︰"'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly..."（三月野兔熱情地對艾麗絲說︰"你再喝點茶﹗"），英語中也出現了許多與tea 有關的短語如︰sb.'s cup of tea （某人的一杯茶），指"正合口味，正中下懷"；a tea hound 指愛交際的男子，愛和女人交際的男子；for all the tea in China指無論如何（也不......）。英語中也產生許多與tea 有關的詞組，如︰tea cup（茶杯），tea caddy(茶葉罐)，tea pot（茶壺），tea tray（茶盤），teapoy（茶几），tea garden（茶園），tea cake（當茶點用的一種餅乾），tea dealer（茶商）。英國人喝茶比較定時，不像中國人那樣隨時隨地都可以喝茶。英國人習慣於三餐兩茶。每天，人們工作、學習一段時間後，需要停下來休息一刻鐘左右，喝杯茶，吃點東西，這段時間叫 Tea Break（茶休），茶休一般為一天兩次︰Morning Tea（上午茶）和 Afternoon Tea（下午茶）。 上午茶一般在10點半左右，下午茶一般在下午 4、5點鐘時，喝下午茶的習慣源於英國 18世紀的一位女公爵 Duchess of Bedford，她每天在午餐和晚餐之間總感到有點餓，於是就在每天下午 4點到 5點之間喝點茶，吃點點心、三明治等，這種飲食法馬上在英國盛行起來，成為今天的 Afternoon Tea。茶休在英國是"雷打不動"的休息時間，這在別的西方國家是沒有的。英國人喝茶與中國人不同。中國人大多喜歡喝清茶，即不往茶裡加任何東西；而在英國，人們主要喝奶茶，沖茶時，先在茶裡放少許牛奶，再放熱開水，據說是害怕開水把杯子沖炸。有的英國人還喜歡在奶茶中加點兒糖，當然要不要加糖，加多少完全憑個人的喜好而定；有些人則喜歡在清茶裡加些檸檬汁，但不能同時在茶裡又加奶又加檸檬汁。講究禮儀的英國紳士認為，英國人在小飯館或快餐店一邊吃飯一邊喝茶是不文雅的，他們認為吃飯時不能喝茶。英國家庭和朋友往來，最喜歡請朋友喝茶。一些家庭喜歡在周末下午請朋友共享茶點，舉行一個小小的 Tea Party（茶會）。這種非正式的茶會，少則二三人，多則數十人。一般家庭都比較茶葉、茶具、茶點和茶禮。下午茶一定要濃，主人在廚房將茶和各色點心準備好後，用茶車（Tea Wagon）推入客廳或戶外，供客人享用，客人們一邊品茶，一邊聊天，情盡在茶中。
2007年12月19日 星期三
與英美人士保持得體距離交流
與英美人士保持得體距離交流
類別: 文化交際 [第 1 篇]
和其它國家的人相比，美國人需要更大的空間距離。雖然他們重感情，但他們在很大的程度上更需要幽靜的生活，不喜歡他人打擾或侵占他們的私人領域。比如在公共汽車上、醫院就診室裡、候車室或休息室裡，他們會盡可能地與鄰座隔開一個位子就座。人類學家愛德華‧霍爾在研究人類對周圍空間的反應時發現，每個人都有他自己獨有的空間需要。霍爾博士把空間分為四個空間區︰l．密切空間，2．人身空間，3．社交空間，4．公共空間。各個區域傳遞著不同的信息及人們相互之間的密切程度。密切空間︰間距為從兩人人體接觸到相距60厘米。這種近距狀態多出現在談情說愛時，或出現在知心朋友間。兩個熟悉不久的男子處於密切空間中容易引起雙方不舒服及不安，如果一對十分親暱的男女處於這種空間，則相互感到非常自然。要是不太熟悉的一男一女處於這種空間，雙方則都會感到尷尬。人身空間︰它包括近距人身和遠距人身空間。前者間隔為60厘米到90厘米之間，是酒會或朋友聚會上最舒適的人身間隔。後者間隔為近1米到1．5米，所以保持這一間隔的接觸通常不是私人的交往。社交空間︰社交空間有近距離和遠距離之分。前者的距離為1．5米到2米，這是一種適用於處理公務的社交距離。如與客戶談生意、接見來訪者及營業員與顧客之間。遠距離社交空間的間隔在2米至4米，它適用於正式的社交活動及商業活動。公共空問︰公共空間也有近距離及遠距離之分。近距離公共空間在4米至8米，它適合於上司與助手說話，教師給學生上課等場合。遠距離公共空間適用於政治人物的活動，比如演講等。美國人對交談距離較為敏感，如有人站得較近或超出他們之間的關系所應保持的距離，則會感到很不自在，因而他們會自動地調節距離，直到舒適為止。這時往往會發生這一現象一方設法調節交談距離，達到使他感到舒服的程度，而交際的另一方也設法調節自己所感到理想的交談距離，結果一方往後退，始終與對方保持一定的距離，而另一方卻感到雙方保持的交談距離太遠，於是盡量靠近對方。據來華工作的英美人士介紹，中國人比英美人士的交談距離要近，所以在交談時，中國人站得較近，使英美人士感到不舒服。你是否意識到這種差異了呢？案例分析握手是見面時的一種問候禮節，美國男女都有握手的習慣，不過，他們還是更注重語言的問候及表達。在其它一些國家中，比如伊娃的國家，問候時如果沒有身體的接觸就不是真正的問候，見面時接吻是一種尊重對方的行為。而一些亞洲國家的問候方式卻不同，他們所使用的是一種非接觸性的問候方式。尊重他人不是通過人體接觸來表現，反而視人體接觸是一種失禮的行為，比如泰國、日本等國家。伊娃以她本國的文化習慣來理解拉聖太太，而產生了誤解。伊娃認為，拉聖太太顯得較冷淡，因為在伊娃國家裡，婦女間沒有接吻的問候被認為是一種失禮的行為，是一種對他人冷淡的表現。但按美國文化習慣，拉聖太太並非對伊娃冷淡，因為她已向伊娃微笑表示歡迎，並問了一些很友好的問題。其實，在美國，婦女初次見面是不與對方接吻的，但隨著交往的加深，為了適合異國的文化習俗，許多美國婦女也開始與異國的婦女接吻和擁抱。伊娃感到拉聖太太對她冷淡的另一原因是因為拉聖太太站得離伊娃太遠。人類學家及心理學家研究了近體距離時發現，交際雙方所需的交談距離是一個涉及兩國文化的問題例如，美國朋友之間的交談距離為人身空間距離，他們站的距離為 60厘米到 1.5米之間。如站得太近就會顯得太親密，如站得超出1．5米，就顯得太冷淡。拉丁美洲和阿拉伯人通常站得很近與人交談，一般在 46厘米內，超出 46厘米與人交談會被認為是一種不友好的行為。
類別: 文化交際 [第 1 篇]
和其它國家的人相比，美國人需要更大的空間距離。雖然他們重感情，但他們在很大的程度上更需要幽靜的生活，不喜歡他人打擾或侵占他們的私人領域。比如在公共汽車上、醫院就診室裡、候車室或休息室裡，他們會盡可能地與鄰座隔開一個位子就座。人類學家愛德華‧霍爾在研究人類對周圍空間的反應時發現，每個人都有他自己獨有的空間需要。霍爾博士把空間分為四個空間區︰l．密切空間，2．人身空間，3．社交空間，4．公共空間。各個區域傳遞著不同的信息及人們相互之間的密切程度。密切空間︰間距為從兩人人體接觸到相距60厘米。這種近距狀態多出現在談情說愛時，或出現在知心朋友間。兩個熟悉不久的男子處於密切空間中容易引起雙方不舒服及不安，如果一對十分親暱的男女處於這種空間，則相互感到非常自然。要是不太熟悉的一男一女處於這種空間，雙方則都會感到尷尬。人身空間︰它包括近距人身和遠距人身空間。前者間隔為60厘米到90厘米之間，是酒會或朋友聚會上最舒適的人身間隔。後者間隔為近1米到1．5米，所以保持這一間隔的接觸通常不是私人的交往。社交空間︰社交空間有近距離和遠距離之分。前者的距離為1．5米到2米，這是一種適用於處理公務的社交距離。如與客戶談生意、接見來訪者及營業員與顧客之間。遠距離社交空間的間隔在2米至4米，它適用於正式的社交活動及商業活動。公共空問︰公共空間也有近距離及遠距離之分。近距離公共空間在4米至8米，它適合於上司與助手說話，教師給學生上課等場合。遠距離公共空間適用於政治人物的活動，比如演講等。美國人對交談距離較為敏感，如有人站得較近或超出他們之間的關系所應保持的距離，則會感到很不自在，因而他們會自動地調節距離，直到舒適為止。這時往往會發生這一現象一方設法調節交談距離，達到使他感到舒服的程度，而交際的另一方也設法調節自己所感到理想的交談距離，結果一方往後退，始終與對方保持一定的距離，而另一方卻感到雙方保持的交談距離太遠，於是盡量靠近對方。據來華工作的英美人士介紹，中國人比英美人士的交談距離要近，所以在交談時，中國人站得較近，使英美人士感到不舒服。你是否意識到這種差異了呢？案例分析握手是見面時的一種問候禮節，美國男女都有握手的習慣，不過，他們還是更注重語言的問候及表達。在其它一些國家中，比如伊娃的國家，問候時如果沒有身體的接觸就不是真正的問候，見面時接吻是一種尊重對方的行為。而一些亞洲國家的問候方式卻不同，他們所使用的是一種非接觸性的問候方式。尊重他人不是通過人體接觸來表現，反而視人體接觸是一種失禮的行為，比如泰國、日本等國家。伊娃以她本國的文化習慣來理解拉聖太太，而產生了誤解。伊娃認為，拉聖太太顯得較冷淡，因為在伊娃國家裡，婦女間沒有接吻的問候被認為是一種失禮的行為，是一種對他人冷淡的表現。但按美國文化習慣，拉聖太太並非對伊娃冷淡，因為她已向伊娃微笑表示歡迎，並問了一些很友好的問題。其實，在美國，婦女初次見面是不與對方接吻的，但隨著交往的加深，為了適合異國的文化習俗，許多美國婦女也開始與異國的婦女接吻和擁抱。伊娃感到拉聖太太對她冷淡的另一原因是因為拉聖太太站得離伊娃太遠。人類學家及心理學家研究了近體距離時發現，交際雙方所需的交談距離是一個涉及兩國文化的問題例如，美國朋友之間的交談距離為人身空間距離，他們站的距離為 60厘米到 1.5米之間。如站得太近就會顯得太親密，如站得超出1．5米，就顯得太冷淡。拉丁美洲和阿拉伯人通常站得很近與人交談，一般在 46厘米內，超出 46厘米與人交談會被認為是一種不友好的行為。
Doctors
Doctors
When a group of doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new wing at a hospital: the allergists voted to scratch it; the dermatologists preferred no rash moves; the gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it; the microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein; the neurologists thought the administration "had a lot of nerve"; the obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception; the ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the orthopedists issued a joint resolution; the parasitologists said, "Well, if you encyst"; the pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"; the pediatricians said, "Grow up!"; the proctologists said, "We are in arrears"; the psychiatrists thought it was madness; and finally, the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it; the internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow; the plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter"; the podiatrists thought it was a big step forward; the D.O.s thought they were being manipulated; the urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water; the anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas; the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no; and the otologists were deaf to the idea.
Needless to say, the idea of contributing to a new wing didn't fly!
When a group of doctors were told to contribute to the construction of a new wing at a hospital: the allergists voted to scratch it; the dermatologists preferred no rash moves; the gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it; the microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein; the neurologists thought the administration "had a lot of nerve"; the obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception; the ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the orthopedists issued a joint resolution; the parasitologists said, "Well, if you encyst"; the pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"; the pediatricians said, "Grow up!"; the proctologists said, "We are in arrears"; the psychiatrists thought it was madness; and finally, the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it; the internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow; the plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter"; the podiatrists thought it was a big step forward; the D.O.s thought they were being manipulated; the urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water; the anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas; the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no; and the otologists were deaf to the idea.
Needless to say, the idea of contributing to a new wing didn't fly!
牙齒
牙齒
小瑞和小軒兩人同一天收到召集令, 而且兩人都不想去服兵役。小瑞曾聽人說軍中不收沒有牙齒的人, 因此他們兩人都把所有牙齒給拔掉了。
在身體檢查那天, 他們兩人排在同一排隊伍, 可是有一個大塊頭, 滿身毛髮而且臭味難當的卡車司機插在他們中間。
當小軒排到隊伍的前頭時, 他對檢查的醫官說他沒有牙齒, 那名醫官要他張開嘴巴,接著用食指在他牙齦繞了一圈後說道: " 沒錯, 你沒牙齒, 不用當兵! "
接著輪到卡車司機, 醫官說, " 你有什麼問題嗎?" 卡車司機說道, " 我患有嚴重的超級痣瘡。 "
醫官要司機彎下身去, 用他的食指在肛門仔細地轉了一整圈後說道: " 沒錯, 你的情形很嚴重, 不合格! "
再來輪到小瑞, 醫官又問: " 那你的問題是什麼? " 小瑞凝視著醫官的食指, 嘆口氣地答道: " 沒什麼問題,我一點問題也沒有。 "
小瑞和小軒兩人同一天收到召集令, 而且兩人都不想去服兵役。小瑞曾聽人說軍中不收沒有牙齒的人, 因此他們兩人都把所有牙齒給拔掉了。
在身體檢查那天, 他們兩人排在同一排隊伍, 可是有一個大塊頭, 滿身毛髮而且臭味難當的卡車司機插在他們中間。
當小軒排到隊伍的前頭時, 他對檢查的醫官說他沒有牙齒, 那名醫官要他張開嘴巴,接著用食指在他牙齦繞了一圈後說道: " 沒錯, 你沒牙齒, 不用當兵! "
接著輪到卡車司機, 醫官說, " 你有什麼問題嗎?" 卡車司機說道, " 我患有嚴重的超級痣瘡。 "
醫官要司機彎下身去, 用他的食指在肛門仔細地轉了一整圈後說道: " 沒錯, 你的情形很嚴重, 不合格! "
再來輪到小瑞, 醫官又問: " 那你的問題是什麼? " 小瑞凝視著醫官的食指, 嘆口氣地答道: " 沒什麼問題,我一點問題也沒有。 "
Doctors' Tales
Doctors' Tales
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than fiveminutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see... Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered... "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a note on the patient's dressing, which said "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than fiveminutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see... Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered... "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a note on the patient's dressing, which said "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
The Roach
The Roach
Years ago I had filled a prescription for a dear customer for the drug "RONIACOL" manufactured by the ROCHE Pharmaceutical Co. (Manufacturers had just started printing the company name or identification on the tablets.)
After delivering the prescription, I received a frantic telephone call. The caller said "Thank you for delivering my medicine, but you have made a terrible mistake." After asking what the problem was, she said: "You have sent me ROACH POISON." She said, "It's printed right on the tablet!"
This took a little tactful explanation.
Years ago I had filled a prescription for a dear customer for the drug "RONIACOL" manufactured by the ROCHE Pharmaceutical Co. (Manufacturers had just started printing the company name or identification on the tablets.)
After delivering the prescription, I received a frantic telephone call. The caller said "Thank you for delivering my medicine, but you have made a terrible mistake." After asking what the problem was, she said: "You have sent me ROACH POISON." She said, "It's printed right on the tablet!"
This took a little tactful explanation.
Prescription Change
Prescription Change
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."
Birth Control and Sleep
Birth Control and Sleep
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."
Empty Stomach
Empty Stomach
As a pharmacist, the general public expects us to be rather professional. Thus is is easy (and fun!) to catch people off guard by having a sense of humor... The following exchange took place between me and one of my patients: Me: Take this medication on an empty stomach. Patient: Does it say that on the label? Me: Yes, on the sticker, next to the drawing of a stomach. Patient: Ewww, gross! Me: You should see what we put on the suppositories.
As a pharmacist, the general public expects us to be rather professional. Thus is is easy (and fun!) to catch people off guard by having a sense of humor... The following exchange took place between me and one of my patients: Me: Take this medication on an empty stomach. Patient: Does it say that on the label? Me: Yes, on the sticker, next to the drawing of a stomach. Patient: Ewww, gross! Me: You should see what we put on the suppositories.
Gold Coins
Gold Coins
One day on the way home from work, I stopped at the local Pharmacy and while I was checking out, I picked up some candy to take home for me and my 7-year old son. It was a bag of Gold Coins (Gold Foil-covered chocolate candy coins). There were many sizes, from dime to dollar. I took the bag home, and me and my son opened the bag and ate all of the coins, my son taking the bigger dollar-sized ones and me taking the smaller ones. The next day, my wife, my son and Istopped at the Pharmacy again to pick up a few things. While my wife and I were shopping, we noticed that my son had picked up a Gold Coin Condom. Before we could catch him, he took it up to the counter and asked the Pharmacist, "What's this?" The woman, looking very serious,said, "That's a condom, son." To which my son replied, "My daddy BOUGHT me some of these yesterday!" With a disgusted look on her face,the Pharmacist replied, "Those are NOT for children, young man." And finally, my son replied, "Then I'll buy this one for my Daddy. He likes the LITTLE ones!"
One day on the way home from work, I stopped at the local Pharmacy and while I was checking out, I picked up some candy to take home for me and my 7-year old son. It was a bag of Gold Coins (Gold Foil-covered chocolate candy coins). There were many sizes, from dime to dollar. I took the bag home, and me and my son opened the bag and ate all of the coins, my son taking the bigger dollar-sized ones and me taking the smaller ones. The next day, my wife, my son and Istopped at the Pharmacy again to pick up a few things. While my wife and I were shopping, we noticed that my son had picked up a Gold Coin Condom. Before we could catch him, he took it up to the counter and asked the Pharmacist, "What's this?" The woman, looking very serious,said, "That's a condom, son." To which my son replied, "My daddy BOUGHT me some of these yesterday!" With a disgusted look on her face,the Pharmacist replied, "Those are NOT for children, young man." And finally, my son replied, "Then I'll buy this one for my Daddy. He likes the LITTLE ones!"
Condom Joke
Condom Joke
A Grandpa walks into a grandson's apartment and sees a condom on the table. 'What's this!?' demands the grandfather. 'It's a condom' replies thegrandson sheepishly. 'What do you use it for?' asks Gramps. The guy is surprised that his grandpa really doesn't know what a condom is, and replies 'I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain' To his surprise his grandpa says 'That's a great idea,' and goes off to the drug store. He asks the pharmacist for a condom. 'What size would you like' asks the pharmacist. 'Oh, big enough to fit a camel'
A Grandpa walks into a grandson's apartment and sees a condom on the table. 'What's this!?' demands the grandfather. 'It's a condom' replies thegrandson sheepishly. 'What do you use it for?' asks Gramps. The guy is surprised that his grandpa really doesn't know what a condom is, and replies 'I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain' To his surprise his grandpa says 'That's a great idea,' and goes off to the drug store. He asks the pharmacist for a condom. 'What size would you like' asks the pharmacist. 'Oh, big enough to fit a camel'
Do You Have Any Plums?
Do You Have Any Plums?
A penguin was passing the drug store when he decided he wanted to go in. He walks in the door (ring ring ring, waddle waddle waddle) he waddles up to the counter. 'Can I help you mister penguin?' 'Yes, do you have any plums?' 'No, penguin, this is a drugstore.' 'Thank you.' The penguin leaves (waddle waddle waddle) A while latter the penguin passes by again and once again goes inside.(ring ring ring, waddle waddle waddle) He waddles to the counter. 'Excuse me, do you have any plums?' 'NO, penguin! this is a drug store!' 'Very well then, thank you.' 'If you come back in here again penguin, I will nail your cute little feet to the floor.' 'Oh, well, thank you' The pengin waddles out the door. A while latter the penguin goes back into the store.(ring ring ring, waddle waddle waddle) 'Excuse me sir.' 'WHAT!!!!!!????????' 'Do you have any nails?' 'NO! penguin, this is a drug store!!!' 'Oh, well then, do you have any plums?'
A penguin was passing the drug store when he decided he wanted to go in. He walks in the door (ring ring ring, waddle waddle waddle) he waddles up to the counter. 'Can I help you mister penguin?' 'Yes, do you have any plums?' 'No, penguin, this is a drugstore.' 'Thank you.' The penguin leaves (waddle waddle waddle) A while latter the penguin passes by again and once again goes inside.(ring ring ring, waddle waddle waddle) He waddles to the counter. 'Excuse me, do you have any plums?' 'NO, penguin! this is a drug store!' 'Very well then, thank you.' 'If you come back in here again penguin, I will nail your cute little feet to the floor.' 'Oh, well, thank you' The pengin waddles out the door. A while latter the penguin goes back into the store.(ring ring ring, waddle waddle waddle) 'Excuse me sir.' 'WHAT!!!!!!????????' 'Do you have any nails?' 'NO! penguin, this is a drug store!!!' 'Oh, well then, do you have any plums?'
Another Pharmacist Joke
Another Pharmacist Joke A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this isweird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Who knows, maybe it's a good thing. The next day, the same man comes back to the store, purchases yet another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. "What's could be so funny about buying a condom, anyway?" So he tells his clerk "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes." Sure enough, the next day the same man is back, he buys the condom, and again starts cracking up with laughter, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk, go follow the guy. About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store. "Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist. The clerk replies "Your house."
The pharmacist joke
The pharmacist joke A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Knowledge Pill
Knowledge Pill A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.
The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature."
The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
"What else do you have?" asks the student.
"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these and swallows them and has new knowledge on those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"
The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back into the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plunks it on the counter.
"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.
The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.
The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature."
The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
"What else do you have?" asks the student.
"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these and swallows them and has new knowledge on those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"
The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back into the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plunks it on the counter.
"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.
The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
Including Tacks?
Including Tacks? This kid walks into the pharmacy: "I've a hot date tonight, a sure thing, and my buddies said you could fix me up for it." "What do you want?" "Well, it's a hot date, man. A sure thing? You know..." "What do you want?" "I need some protection, alright??!?!" "What size?" "Size? I dunno... Whatever is considered average I guess." "That'll be $2.35 including tax." "Tacks? Tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves!"
What a placebo!
What a placebo! A funny story I know comes from someone's father-in-law who is a pharmacist. One of his customers complained that the capsules she'd been given weren't working. "Oh," he said, "You've been taking them the wrong way. You have to take them so that the green half goes in first." He said that she stopped by a week later to let him know that her medication was working fine now.
Frozen
Frozen
Outside a chemist in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle - just standing there, frozen. The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?" Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help." Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now." Assistant replies, "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!"
Outside a chemist in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle - just standing there, frozen. The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?" Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help." Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now." Assistant replies, "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!"
藥劑師父親
藥劑師父親 女孩邀請男友週五晚上到她家和她父母共進晚餐。因為這是一樁大事， 所 以女孩告訴他在晚餐過後，她願意把初夜獻給他。 男孩欣喜若狂，但他從來沒做過這檔事，所以他到藥房去買保險套。 藥劑師幫了男孩一個小時左右。 他告訴男孩所有有關保險套及性的注意事項。結帳時，藥劑師問男孩要買多少個保險套 要3袋裝，10袋裝或家庭號。 男孩堅持要買家庭號，因為他認為這是他期待已久的第一次， 他應該會忙得不 得了。 當晚，男孩出現在女友父母親家在門口碰到他的女朋友。『哇我等不及要把你介紹給我父母了。快進來。』 男孩進去後被帶到女方父母坐著的餐桌旁。很快地男孩要求做晚禱然後把 頭低下來。 但過了很久都不見男孩禱告完畢抬起頭來，女朋友靠了過去聲說，『我從來不知道你這麼虔誠。』 男孩子轉頭,小聲的回嘴, 『我也從來不知道你爸爸是藥劑師!』
THE WEDDING
THE WEDDING
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, aged 89, are all excited about their desision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in. He addresses the pharmacist, "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medication for rheumatism, scoliosis?" Pharmacist: "Definitely" Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course" Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, agarol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?" Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes" Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to register for our wedding gifts here please.
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, aged 89, are all excited about their desision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in. He addresses the pharmacist, "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." Jacob: "Medication for rheumatism, scoliosis?" Pharmacist: "Definitely" Jacob: "How about Viagra?" Pharmacist: "Of course" Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety." Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, agarol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?" Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes" Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to register for our wedding gifts here please.
Peanuts Review
Peanuts Review
A pharmacist goes to a nursing home to review an elderly customer. As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and takes one. As they talk, he can't help himself and eats one after another.
By the time they are through talking, the bowl is empty.
He says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I seem to have eaten all of your peanuts."
"That's okay," she says. "They would have just sat there. Without my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off and put them back.
A pharmacist goes to a nursing home to review an elderly customer. As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and takes one. As they talk, he can't help himself and eats one after another.
By the time they are through talking, the bowl is empty.
He says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I seem to have eaten all of your peanuts."
"That's okay," she says. "They would have just sat there. Without my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off and put them back.
Healthy Eating
The Food Pyramid gives us helpful information about healthy eating. It tells us how to eat wisely. There are four food groups in the Food Pyramid. We get nutrients from each group. Nutrients are the things our bodies need. They help us grow and keep us healthy. No one food group is more important than another. They are all important. We need each of the four groups for good health.
The top of the Food Pyramid shows fat, oil and sugar. This is not a food group. We should eat less fat, oil and sugar because they do not have a lot of nutrients. Too much fat, oil and sugar is not healthy for us......
The top of the Food Pyramid shows fat, oil and sugar. This is not a food group. We should eat less fat, oil and sugar because they do not have a lot of nutrients. Too much fat, oil and sugar is not healthy for us......
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